


Chance of a Gentle Shower of Rain, Flowers Destined to Bloom, the Petals Flying in the Wind (Let Them Scatter)

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bakery, Gen, Sober Klaus Hargreeves, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:35:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25170256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: The kitchen at the Academy soon started to always smell like fresh baked goods, cakes and pies and homemade bread started covering the counters, much to everyone's delight.It was maybe a surprise to them to find out that it wasn't Grace doing the baking, but Klaus.
Comments: 62
Kudos: 629





	Chance of a Gentle Shower of Rain, Flowers Destined to Bloom, the Petals Flying in the Wind (Let Them Scatter)

**Author's Note:**

> not sure if this is any good, but look, i wanted to write about klaus baking somewhat so here you go

Klaus got into baking.

No, not the drug kind, not baking special goodies that make him the baked one.

But the normal cakes and brownies and cupcakes and dough and flour on noses and picking out egg shells when a ghost let out a shriek too loud and the egg got cracked too hard in surprise. 

He’d always been good at chemistry.

Previously he applied it to drugs. When he started he didn’t want to take it too far and knew the right amounts to make the ghosts disappear of what type of drug and what not to mix it with. As his addiction grew, his carelessness grew as well, but he’d always been good at knowing when he went too far and either stopped before hand or called an ambo once he realized. 

Cooking, Klaus knew, was more like art. 

He also liked art but that's a different story. 

But cooking, it’s like art. Hard to mess up, you can easily change it and make it your own and it’ll still turn out good. Different than the reference picture or recipe, but still good. 

Baking? _That’s a science, baby._ In order to get the baked goods to come out right, fluffy and not dense, cooked all the way through, with a golden brown top, you have to know what you’re doing. Follow the recipe exactly right, change it slightly and suddenly your dough isn’t doubling in size or your cake fell in the middle and why did that happen?

However, Klaus was sober now and needed a hobby.

When the cravings claw at him and he creams the butter and sugar together and watches it become smooth, when he gets out his little blow torch to melt the sugar on top, when he makes real whipped cream by hand and his arm is numb like he wants to be from the fast paced and too much whisking until it peaked--

It helped.

Instead of his arms full of injection sites and bruises, they were full of accidental cuts and accidental burns. For once he didn’t mean to cut himself, _can you believe?_ Also yes please, let's get a band aid for the cut, some burn cream when he touched the oven putting the cake in. New and more scars all the time, but all of them happier.

At first he threw the food out when he was done with it. He didn’t enjoy sweets and he did it to fight off stress and cravings and not to actually _eat_ any of it, besides, it probably wasn’t very good. So he’d bake, banter with Ben while he did, and then throw the finished product (little icing flowers and everything) in the trash.

And then Five caught him throwing it away and yelled at him about how he shouldn’t be wasting food and it was _Klaus_ throwing away the food, he knew just as well as Five did that if the food was edible you didn’t _throw it away_ , and what did he mean it probably wasn’t any good, had he tried it? Because Five had, _yes_ he ate out of the trash, like Klaus was one to say something against it, and Five’s ate worse than out of the Academy kitchen trash and that fucking weird ass cupcake he’d made-- what? Maple and candied bacon? What the actual fuck Klaus it was amazing don’t fucking _throw it away--_

So he stopped throwing it away and just left it out on the counter.

It was always the strangest thing. At times he’d bake an item, leave it on the counter and go clean up, walk into the other room for five minutes or so, come back through and it was _gone_ and Klaus hadn’t seen any of his siblings. Whenever this happened he always assumed it was Five, blinking in and out, grabbing the cake or the cookies or the brownies or the pie or the--

But then one day Klaus realized he hadn’t put away the bag of flour so he went to put it away and when he opened the pantry he found Luther and Diego both standing in there, hidden away, like they would get in trouble. Both of them had a hand on the pie tin and a fork in the other hand as they silently shoveled it into their mouths. 

They’d frozen, turned. Luther had some pie on his shirt. Diego’s fork was half way to his mouth.

Klaus reached behind Diego and put the flour away and then closed the door. He then grinned to Ben, he perched himself on the counter and _waited_.

After a few minutes the door slowly opened and Luther peeked his head out. His eyes grew when he spied Klaus who gave a cheery finger wave and a wink. Luther’s head ducked back in for a second and Klaus heard some quiet murmurs before Luther was basically shoved out and the door was slammed shut behind him. 

“I was, uh,” Luther rubbed the back of his head, fork still in his hand, “just checking the inventory. See what was needed from the grocery store.”

Klaus raised his eyebrows, “Well I hope you counted the flour that I put away. We aren’t out of it yet.”

Luther nodded slowly, “Should we buy you more flour though? Or different kinds? _Are_ there different kinds?”

Klaus laughed, “There are, yes. Many different kinds.”

Luther nodded as he put his fork back in his mouth again, trying to make sure he got all the pie off it. “Your pie was good,” he spoke around the fork.

Diego’s head popped out, “You weren’t supposed to tell him we ate it!”

“Hear that Ben?” Klaus turned to his brother, “Guess I’m blind. Let’s play a quick game of _Never Have I Ever_ because never have I ever walked in on my brothers eating all of pie in secret. And no, that’s not an euphemism. _Can you imagine if it was?_ ” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Why don’t they want you to know? I don’t get it,” Ben commented, not able to actually ask Luther and Diego as he wasn’t visible to anyone but Klaus at that moment.

Klaus shrugged, “I think Diego is worried about his temple. Y’know? Can’t be seen eating baked goods.” Klaus reached out and tapped Diego’s stomach with his toes. “His body is a temple. Told me so.”

Luther hung his head in shame, “I just thought you’d get mad at us for eating it.”

Klaus smiled, bemused, “No? I’m glad _someone_ is eating it and enjoying it. Honestly a surprise. When Five said it was good I wasn’t sure. I mean, I saw the little guy eat a cockroach once as if it was nothing.”

“You’ve eaten cockroaches,” Ben said with a sigh.

“Have I? Huh,” Klaus frowned at himself. Shrugging, he looked at his brothers, “You don’t have to hide eating it. I mean if that’s your kink, go for it, but no need to hide in a pantry and shovel it in. You’ll choke and die that way. One brother haunting me is enough.”

“What if I want company,” Ben joked.

Klaus put his hand to his heart like he’d been shot, “Am I not company?”

“You’re _something_ ,” Ben replied.

Klaus gave a playful glare and turned to Luther and Diego, having to inform them on what Ben was saying, “Ben’s attacking my moral character!”

“You don’t have morals,” Diego commented, eyeing the pie tin in his hand like he wanted to lick it clean.

“Betrayal! No more pies for Diego! Luther shall get them all now,” Klaus declared. “He’s now my favorite.”

Luther preened.

More time passed. Klaus made more baked goods. Luther and Diego stopped hiding when they ate them and instead told him how good they were. Five no longer had to dig through the trash for the goodies. He’d said he ate a bad twinkie once but trusted Klaus to not poison him. 

Jokes on Five, Klaus could easily poison him.

He could make a dutch letter and put cyanide in it. Cyanide tasted of almonds, after all.

Klaus giggled when he saw Five eating one of the dutch letters. 

No poison!

Promise!

And then, one day when he was getting the butterfly cinnamon rolls out of the oven, Vanya approached him.

She took a deep breath, “The orchestra is planning a fundraiser. Mostly through a bake sale. I am not very good at baking, _not like you_. Would you be willing to whip something up?” She bit her lip, looking worried 

Why she looked worried, he didn’t know. “Of course I’ll bake some stuff for you. When is it? Because if it’s _today_ you can take these cinnamon rolls.” He gestured to where they sat on the counter, “Look: butterflies.”

“They smell amazing,” Vanya said, eyeing the cinnamon rolls. He half expected her to grab one right then, even before he added any icing and when they were too hot to touch. “The fundraiser is next week.”

He started thinking of sugar cookies with music note icing on them and of cakes in the shape of violins and cellos. Making _plans_ and looking forward to them, and if that wasn’t surprising to him-- that he was happy and excited about something in the future-- he wasn’t sure what could be.

He hadn’t looked forward to the future since he thought there was a chance he and Dave could survive together, he could follow Dave to the States and make a home with him, a little farm with goats and big oak tree.

_And yet_ , here he was, looking forward to a bake sale.

What was happening to him? Excited about baking themed cookies and cakes. Just over a year ago he was homeless and high and now he’d fought in a war and baked to help with his PTSD. 

Vanya was eating one of the cinnamon rolls. He smiled at her, “Let me know what day and how much I should bake, my dear. Also if I should be worried about anyone having a peanut allergy.”

And so he made cookies and cakes and gave them to Vanya, more than she had asked for but his nightmares had been bad so he’d baked and baked and baked and didn’t eat any of it. Or let anyone else eat them. The others were grumpy when he didn’t let them eat the music themed desserts, but he had pointed out there were plenty of other goodies for them he’d made. Allison had asked if he was okay, he was baking more than usual. He’d claimed he was fine, just couldn’t sleep. Which wasn’t a lie.

However, he did have to hear Diego complain about all the weight he was gaining. Klaus reminded him that he didn’t have to eat the food, no one was forcing him as he presented Diego with little gingerbread men holding knives. Diego had angrily bit off the head of the first man he picked up, “He is delicious!” Diego glared and stormed off.

It was after the fundraiser that Allison was able to bring Claire for a visit.

He was up early, on his way downstairs to bake something for everyone’s breakfast when Claire peeked through Allison’s doorway. He turned and smiled at her, she glanced behind her and then ran over to him and latched onto his hand. He was surprised that she’d done that but he just smiled down at her and she grinned back. Holding a finger to his lips they quietly made their way downstairs.

Claire decided they should make muffins for breakfast.

As they were putting the muffins in the oven, Allison found them, looking worried. Klaus smiled sheepishly, not having thought that she’d wake up with her daughter missing. 

“We made muffins!” Claire exclaimed, clapping her hands, making the flour on them puff out in little dust clouds.

Allison nodded, eyes wide as she looked around the room, “You also made a mess.”

Klaus shrugged, “What's the fun in baking if you don’t make a mess first?”

Claire nodded along, in full agreement. “What Uncle Klaus said! He also said once the muffins were in the oven we would clean up. Because! After the muffins are done we get to eat them and then he said maybe we could bake more things today! Baking with Uncle Klaus was fun.”

“That’s good, I’m glad you had fun,” Allison said with a smile. “Just next time you get up early to bake with Uncle Klaus wake me up and let me know, okay?”

“Wake and bake! Got it, mommy!” Claire agreed.

It was as she took the bite of her first muffin that Claire said something that would change Klaus’s world, “You should open a bakery Uncle Klaus!”

The others at the table, all up, with their own muffins, became still before they slowly started agreeing. As if they’d never thought of Klaus opening a bakery. To Klaus it sounded like an insane idea. He didn’t know the first thing about running a business and his baked goods _couldn’t_ be that good.

Could they?

But over the next few weeks, his siblings kept mentioning the good bakery idea.

It came to a head during a family meeting when it got brought up again. 

“I can’t!” Klaus argued. “My bakes aren’t _good enough to sell_ and besides that! I can’t run a business! It’d fail in a week. Can you really see me knowing what to do with the accounts?”

“I could do that,” Five said. “I need something to keep me occupied as much as you do. While I don’t know how to run a successful business I feel I am capable of doing so.”

“I-- _what?_ You want to be business partners with me?” Klaus was confused. Surely not. 

Five nodded, “I think it would be good for us. You do the actual baking, I do the accounts.”

In a quiet voice, Luther spoke up, “Could I man the store front?”

It happened so fast, faster than Klaus could have ever thought. But they did have Reggie’s money helping them along the way. Five had quickly found a bakery that needed sold that was close by and bought it, Luther loved remodeling the bakery to a style that was a mix of ideas from Klaus, Five and Luther, somehow meshing together in a semi-cohesive look.

“It's my bakery! So I get to name it!” Klaus shoved at Five. 

“It’s not just yours, Klaus!” Five yelled, hitting him on the arm.

“Well then good luck selling anything if I don’t come in to bake!” 

“I will just bring in the stuff from here that you bake!”

_“Guys can we just talk about this calmly?”_

“I am calm! And I will not work at a place called _Wake and Bake_!”

Wake and Bake Bakery opened soon after.

Klaus was in the back, doing a custom order of a wedding cake, Five in his office, yelling at someone on the phone, when Klaus heard a conversation he’d heard Luther have many times before. Only the person he had it with always changed.

“And uh, I’d like a cup of coffee.”

“I’m sorry, we don’t sell coffee,” Luther said, sounding bored. Klaus let out a snort of amusement.

“What? Of course you do! Why else would you have that fancy coffee maker behind the counter?”

“It’s actually personal property of one of the employees. Coffee is not for sale, sir. I’m sorry,” Luther did not sound sorry.

A few of the customers would end up wanting to start a fight about coffee, that was until they looked at Luther again and realized if they started yelling or wanting to throw a punch that they would lose.

Just then Five came out from his office after slamming the phone down and was muttering about coffee.

Klaus got up to watch the scene of a middle aged man glaring at Five, who did appear to be in his early teens, helping himself to his expensive and fancy coffee machine. Five then grabbed a spare scone from the display, grumbling about the accounts and banks and state inspectors.

After Five left the room, the man yelled, _“The kid gets coffee?!”_

Later that day, Klaus went into Five’s office with a coffee flavored brownie.

“What do you want?” Five sighed, knowing Klaus was buttering him up.

“Listen. What if we hosted drag shows at night?” Klaus smiled. “I know many wonderful performers.”

“We aren’t zoned for that,” Five said in a closed tone.

But that wouldn’t stop Klaus, who sat down across from him. “But what if we were? Hm? _Think of it. _Also if it helps, it was Ben’s idea.__

____

____

Ben glared at him, “It was _not._ Stop using me as an excuse to get what you want.”

“The fuck kind of bakery hosts drag shows?” Five questioned.

“The kind that is named Wake and Bake.” Klaus rolled his eyes, _“Duh.”_

Wake and Bake soon became a bakery that in the mornings you could easily get a breakfast to go or eat in and then at night it was a bar that usually had local bands or drag shows. 

Klaus was very glad that Claire had suggested he opened a bakery. She was one smart cookie.

**Author's Note:**

> also yes wake n bake is a real bakery near by and yes i've had breakfast there and yes i have gone and seen drag shows and drank many gin and tonics while i watched the show
> 
> obliqueoptimism @ tumblr


End file.
